Packing, Preparation and Panic

Working out of town has offered some challenges to the preparation of my trip to Australia. Although I was working far from home, the magic wonders of the Internet have allowed me to prepare many important items such as purchasing plane tickets, purchasing travel insurance, researching routes and so on. However, fantastically wondrous technology aside, there are many items that can't be done at the click of a mouse or the three-fingered swipe of a Magic Trackpad and require actual physical movement and genuine human interaction. Since I also quit my oil industry job I unfortunately no longer have the means to throw my bourgeois money at a problem to make it go away.

Excuses aside, the fact of the matter is that I leave for Australia in a few days and I am still not packed! Not only do I need to pack, but I have left a few issues unresolved and I must take these issues into consideration. I will save you from explaining the endless and boring logistical details... except for one. Bicycle configuration is a pretty important subject when you plan to take a 6000 km bike ride. I do have a proper touring bike (thanks to Andrew at Brodie!) and I have a general idea of how my new bike racks and panniers will be installed. I know what to pack, and have an idea of how I want to pack it. My tent packs well on my bike with the help of a couple of bungee cords. What has me a little worried is that I haven't done any shakedown rides to ensure that all the pieces will work WELL together. I will simply have to hit the ground running... or rolling to be more appropriate... and adapt to any challenges. That's what I'll have to do instead of being properly prepared... Once I have my bike unpacked and assembled in Sydney I will post pictures of it. To give you an idea of how my bike will look once it is ready to hit the road, here are some other touring bikes that I used for inspiration:

The "This is a knife" bike

... of course you'll need to occasionally sharpen your knife.

The Mule

For the Great Barrier Reef, the Scuba Bike

Some people have asked me why I chose to tour Australia. Well here is my answer:

Any blog starting involving Chuck Norris has to be awesome!

First off: "What is Riding on the Wrong Side (ROTWS)?" Like many other bloggers, I chose to start a blog since it is the best way to share whatever I have to say in a totally unedited and unrevised manner to the entire planet. More specifically, to those with computers, internet access and who can read English. However, I hope to pique interest in readers since I will be writing about, and posting photos from, my bicycle tour of Australia's east coast. I am embarking on a solo 6,000 km trip that will be unsupported. The fact that I have never undertaken anything even close to the scope of this trip should hint that there will be some interesting stories to come, all at my expense of course. I will be bringing a fair amount of fancy camera equipment to document this prolonged ramble. I will post photos linked from my Flickr page. I will show off my camera gear in a post later on for all you camera nerds out there. The same goes for my bike and the bike nerds.

You may be asking yourself: "Why should I take time out of my day to read another verbose, ho-hum, self-absorbed blog?" Well if you understand sarcasm at all, then you have already figured out the answer to that question. This trip is not intended to raise money for a charity, or to write some arsty emo blog about how the sand between my toes makes me think of happy childhood memories. No! This trip is for my own personal benefit and is sponsored only by ME!

I hope to provide you with some laughs by way of my misadventures (leg cramps, heat exhaustion, getting lost, snake bite flats, actual snake bites, etc). However, I will also get to laugh at your expense since I will imagine all of you as a generic reader who will be reading this from your work stations in some cubicle farm during the breaks between the multiple daily occurrences when one of your eight supervisors comes by to ask about an e-mail you sent them that they have since printed out and are now holding... or perhaps your employer frowns upon blog websites because they are a detriment to the company's overall productivity and are therefore blocked. In this case you will have to catch up on my pedal powered perils at home either in the morning before work, or in the evening after work. Either way, it will most likely be completely dark and cold outside since I expect most you will be reading from Canada. The joke is on me for the next few days because I am writing this to you from my office desk near Fort McMurray where I have been working a twelve hour night shift for the past few weeks.

I have been working in Alberta's oil sands for the past 7 months now. Although I've had to sacrifice my social life and much of my sanity, it hasn't been all bad. After all, I got exactly what I came here for: a magnificently inflated pay cheque! When I first started this job I thought: "Great! I can finally realize my dream of owning a house in Vancouver!". A few months passed after I began my new job and I eventually came to the realization that owning a house would be a massive responsibility. I have always been proud of the fact that I have become a master of avoiding responsibility. Being a home owner is such a massive responsibility that I can only imagine fathering a child would be greater. I would have to stick to my mantra of avoiding responsibility for the time being since the thought of being a home owner created excessive anxiety. I had to reconsider how I would spend all of my bourgeois, capitalist oil money. After much personal reflection, I devised a plan that would have me quit my job, fly to the other end of the planet, ride a bike around and basically live as some type of a cycling vagabond miscreant... with a fancy camera and a credit card. If I were a movie character I would be a mix of:

Chuck Norris as Maj. Scott McCoy on his dirt bike in Delta Force

Kevin Bacon as Jack Casey in Quicksilver

and Christopher McCandless a.k.a Alexander Supertramp (Into the Wild)

... except I won't have missiles on my handlebars (unfortunately) I won't be chased through a large city by a murderous drug dealer (hopefully) and although I will be tramping across a vast country, much like Chris McCandless did, I certainly don't plan on dying of starvation, stranded in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness. That wasn't the best reference because unlike the first two protagonists I referenced, I will always be wearing my helmet while riding my bike!

There will be more posts to come about the prep before my departure for Sydney on Monday the 22nd. Until then, take care of yourself, and each other.